so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
