She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
