There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
