This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
