Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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