I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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