I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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