For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
