he wants to bone in the snuggie
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
