Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
