Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
