yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
