you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
