We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
