Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
