apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
