i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
