They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
