Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
