chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
