Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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