The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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