I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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