omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
