And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
