@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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