Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
