She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize