Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
