did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
