I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
