I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
