I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
