this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
