I love black thongs
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize