After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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