Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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