You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
