she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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