love makes seman taste better
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
