My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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