Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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