Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize