so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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