Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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