I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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