So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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