Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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