do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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