okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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