using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
