best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
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