did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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