So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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