she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
