You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
