dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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