I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
