i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
