Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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