I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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