i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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