I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
